Monday as a Metaphor

The morning weather was warm, the chill of the fog sets in the afternoon and a quiet, solemn breeze permeates under the dark clouds that is my solitary existence.

The mystery of the night is that it can look you straight in the face like a mirror and display the images you wouldn't want to see: part reality, part idealism, mostly perception.

In our crazy, opinionated world, we long for silence. Silence can teach us a lot about ourselves: who we are, what we were and who we could become. It provides an outlet for reflection, mere appreciation and perhaps even gratitude. We close our eyes in the hopes that when we open them we're relieved of stress: of this very burden we carry on our shoulders, our minds and our hearts. I hugely define myself in the context of the friendships I build throughout these years; to not be an environment where I could freely let myself go with the peope around me is a scary thought. I've always understood the need for most people to establish themselves: part of which is trying to heal the scarring that was caused by a failed relationship. It seems to be an unending cycle in which everybody takes a part of.

I've never liked Mondays: mostly because it symbolizes the start of the work week and somehow the end of a good weekend but this monday is different. The last monday of my stay here in the dorms is one I can never forget. I notice m yself paying intense attention to everything around me: from the sway of the branches of the tree, to the natural layout of the environment, to people's emotions and to how the surroundings interacts with the energy and vibe of the people around it.

I feel like I needed to cry...somehow I have this idea that if I cry long enough, hard enough, intense enough that I could perhaps soften the blow of me leaving on friday. I'm scared, sad and slowly reaching the state of "numb." I want to reduce my experiences in blog-material yet I can't. It's not even about the physical effects of stress anymore, the problem is my brain is juiced-out, my skin is developing a thicker layer and that heart- it's pumping, at a slow and steady rate...at a slow and steady rate.